Robert Lesser, Award Winning Dramatist, Philoctetes II, Section 3
 
Philoctetes II
by
Robert Lesser

| Robert Lesser | Introduction | Setting | Section One | Section Two | Section Three (conclusion) |

  PAUL

First step?

PHIL

East. Call the company that installed the lock boxes. Make sure their master key is ..

PAUL (interrupting)

I went myself. It's still attached to the white file card. No prints. But I noticed a tiny piece of wax in the center of the key.

(Phil and Paul pass the bottle of whiskey to each other and drink.)
PHIL

A wax impression to make a duplicate? One of the workers at Mosler Safe?

PAUL

No. We super checked everyone. Phil, I came here today 'cause Tony, me and Jake and you need you now! Phil. W're brothers in broke! We need..
 

PHIL

One of my arrows?

PAUL

Straight to the bullseye! Hey. Remember Goldblatts?
 

PHIL

Yeah. Goldblatts at Christmas. Alla money in their cash registers disappeared same night. Empty!

PAUL

And at the line up, you picked Mr. Wrong right away. The repair guy. God, you were fast!

PHIL

Remember Harris Trust and Savings? Half a mill!

PAUL

Brilliant! Your best! You searched the top guy's office. Two overcoats exactly the same, except one had pockets inside the lining.

PHIL

And he lined that one with bank cash, the other he had the guard inspect. Then switch and leave.

PAUL (in admiration)

How did you know? Did God give you a bigger brain than us? Hey, Phil. What's your hat size?

(They both laugh)

If you could do it then, you can do it now. Please, Phil. You got all the pieces I can give! Please!

PHIL

What I teach ya is always, always number one?

PAUL

Tell me?

PHIL

Always, always ask the hardest question first. Don't you remember?

PAUL

Yeah! .. The answer to the hardest question tells you the most. Right? And it is..

PHIL

How in hell did he get it out of the bank? Fifteen million in cash can't be slipped inside an overcoat and out the front door!

PAUL

But Tony had uniformed guards at every door. A triple A security system. How?

PHIL

That is the hard question.
 

PAUL

I was your partner, but I was never your equal. Moon steals its light from the sun and shines. I stole your credits so they'd put me into this.

(He lifts the shoulders of his uniform high then lets it drop.)

I owe you, but .. by the dawn's early light so goes the song .. Phil, I'm beginning to see that I'm going to have to ask an even harder question. And I know I don't want to know the answer.
 

BETS (pointing at Teresa's clothes on hangers)

What's this?

TERESA

I'm hanging up my clothes.

BETS

In my kitchen? How'm I gonna cook?

(Teresa opens the refrigerator door to reveal empty.)
TERESA

Cook what? Numbers ala King. Bookies beef stew? Bets on a bun?
 

BETS

Where's Timmy?

PHIL

Montreal.

BETS

Without sayin' goodbye to me? You let him go without even sayin' goodbye to me?

PHIL

His choice. Not mine.

BETS

His choice? No, Phil. For you his choice is always yes. For me, he's not jist no, jist nothing!

(her hands clasping tightly)

No space for me in between.

PHIL

Yeah. We wear it tight. But not too tight.

BETS

Too tight? I choke his air?

PHIL

Right outa his lungs. Love isn't..

BETS (interrupting)

Still you don't know me. I don't love my son. Love is a weakened word those billions use. I adore my son. My adoration is ten times ten! I adore him down to all the little pieces of my heart and bone. I know. I see. I hear. I feel. I breathe. I drink in the truth my son is incapable of sin. He has the makings of a saint. And if he should return to use wearing the wings of an angel .. I would yawn a little, ask the time and talk the weather, but I would not be surprised.

PHIL

Never steal?

BETS

Wouldn't pick a penny off the ground that wasn't his!

PHIL

Money, whiskey, women .. normal to a man.

BETS

Never had. And now safe in the arms of the church, never will.

PHIL

Safe behind walls .. I hope.

BETS

And safe far away from you and your snake schemes. I know you two were cookin' somethin' inna pot! Secret talks with that door shut against me.

(She unclasps her hands and smiles)

But now there's space in-be-tween. Win, place and show!

PHIL

And me? Where am I in that race?

BETS

How old was I then? More than Teresa is now. You winked at me. I didn't sleep a week.

PHIL

You matched it with a smile. Then and there it began between us. Quick as a gun.

BETS

All our fathers sittin' on the stoop, waitin' outside for supper to be cooked. Smokin' their clay pipes. Open can of beer passin' the dipper each to each. Watchin' the street. Waitin' for you to walk past on your beat.

PHIL

I polished the brass buttons on my uniform and shined my shoes. Ya could see the sky 'cause I knew I had an audience waitin' for me to perform.

BETS

And my father'd tease youl Called you out loud: "Why here comes the landlord of the sidewalk collectin' rents!" And they all laughed. You were so pretty, that's right, pretty, in your uniform.

PHIL

You Dad was a laughin' man. He'd say" "Why here comes Mr. Fred O'Staire the movie star of the dancin' police!" I'd do a little jig in front of the stoop and he'd sing:
 

They'd scream the neighbors right out the windows!
BETS

You walked that beat, back straight, head high, as proud as the king of England goin' to a horse parade.

PHIL

On the first day I put on the uniform I looked in the mirro and knew it would change me down to the bone. Oh, it wasn't the badge, the gun and the billy club. It was me! I had become my uniform.

And they saw it not me! Stoppin' traffic taking twenty little, little kids holdin' hands across Madison to Lady of Angels Schoo. They looked up at the uniform like it was God Almighty come down to protect them from the devil's flames. They'd smile up saucy, tease me and sing screeching over and over till we reached the door:
 

My uniform gave Chicago the right to be old and helped across the street, to be lost and asked which is which, to be sick and sent to the caring, to be protected in the last moments of dying alone.
BETS (crying)

There are people in this city who still speak of you.

PHIL

On the first day I put away my uniform and put on a detective's double breasted, I looked in the mirror. I knew it would change down to the bone. No one would see me again to ask. The old. The sick. The dying and the lost were lost to me forever. On that day, I began to change into this. What I am today, here and now. Betty do you still ..

BETS

Love ya? God, Phil! I'd lick the streets for ya! I'd lick the streets!

PHIL

Gimme a smile!

BETS

If you'll gimme a wink.

(They embrace and kiss)
PHIL

Ladies and Gentlemen, for the first time anywhere, only on this stage tonight, pre-senting the naughty newlyweds!

BETS

I act the bad girl caught, always deserving punishment.

PHIL

I'll be the nasty detective always arresting you.

BETS (as if holding a newspaper reading the headlines)

Extra! Extra! Read all about it! John Dillinger, public enemy number one dead. Betrayed by the woman in red!

PHIL

Hey, lady! Stop where you are! Are you red?

BETS

So what if I am, Copper?

PHIL

I'm takin' you in. And I'm gonna give ya the third degree. We want to know if you're hidin' anything belonging to Dillinger under that dress.

BETS

Oh, Mr. Detective! I'm so afraid of the third degree. Couldn't we go upstairs to my apartment, and you can take off my dress there? I'll show you everything I've got! Please don't arrest me. O.K.?

PHIL

Well, It's a long ride down to police headquarters. Let's go up to your apartment and do it.

BETS

Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Kidnapped Lindbergh baby dead! Nurse helped! Kidnapper caught!

PHIL

Caught ya bitch!

BETS

Yes. You have me. The handcuffs are so tight! Why have you put me in this strange room with no windows and the door is locked?

PHIL

The ransom money! He must have given you some for nursin' the kid.

BETS

I swear I didn't take any money. I only wanted to keep the baby alive, away from him. Please Mr. Policeman, I don't want to go to jail.

PHIL

How do I know you're talkin' the truth? Ain't hidin' some on you right now?

BETS

The only way is to strip search me. Please take off my shoes and stockings. Take off my dress and my bra and my panties please? .. Don't hurt me too much.

PHIL

Yeah. You're right. Only way to be sure. I'm gonna do that to ya right now!

BETS

Extra! Extra! Read all about it! South side brothel raided by vice squad! Fifteen year old girl free!

PHIL

Expensive furniture. Gold faucets. Marble floors. You musta liked workin' here little girl.

BETS

My boyfriend brought me here, sold me to the madam and she kept me locked in. I couldn't leave. And I couldn't say no 'cause they'd beat me. So I relaxed and learned to like it.

PHIL

Who's the best?

BETS

You policemen of course! You guys really know how to do it! What are you going to do with me?  

PHIL

What should I do with you? You're too young to go to jail. I can't put ya out on the streets. But you know you deserve to be punished. Return ya to your Father and let him spank a naughty girl?  

BETS

Oh! Please, Mr. Policeman, don't let my Father spank me! He hurt me hard. You do it to me. Take off my panties right now and spank me? Spank me?

(She emerges from the playlet into remembering reality.)

Spank me! Spank me! Hit me? Hit me? Hit me? Hit me? I'm eight months pregnant and you're smashing your fist into my face? Knocked to the floor .. blood!

(She wipes imagined blood from her lips.)
PHIL

Yeah. That'll shake ya shingles! Where the hell's the rent money I gave ya?

BETS

Sweet or sour!

PHIL

Not me! It was you who took this marriage from sweet to sour! We was toppa the world, Betty, but you took us down!

BETS

Me? This marriage started man to woman. Now it's cop to crook!

PHIL

Yeah! Crooks lie, cheat and steal!

BETS

I lie, cheat and steal on you?

PHIL

And can't be trusted.

BETS

Me? Not trust me?

PHIL (holds a dime in her face)

Not with one damn dirty dime! I give ya rent money! Gone! I give ya food money. Gone! After ya paycheck, it's beg and borrow. All! All! All to Joey! And don't tell me no! He works for Tony Jake!

BETS (hands covering her ears)

I don't want to hear. It's a small thing.

PHIL (pulls her hands away)

So's a hole in the bottom of a boat.

BETS

I'll sink us all?

PHIL

Yes. Like the icy wind, I can feel it coming, but I can't see it .. yet.

BETS

No. I have a good/bad witch inside. She won't let me lose everything. I haven't been abandoned by my witch.

PHIL (holding her hands away from her ears)

Tell the truth jist once! Loud out loud! Not for me to hear, I know it. But for you to hear it from you yourself Jist once without smiling it down into a small joke.

BETS

The truth is?.. You still?

PHIL (interrupting)

If I didn't would I shout and beg and scream? Goddamnit if I didn't love ya, why'd I hit ya eight months pregnant in the face?

BETS

That was years ago.

PHIL

But I still feel the shame like it was last night.

BETS (hands on face)

And I still feel the sting.

PHIL

Please loud out loud!

BETS

Truth .. ain't that what you detectives search? My truth honey-lover, sweetheart-darling, I'm forty five years old and there ain't no young boys kickin' on my door to take me ot the dance. My factory job pays cheap so I can only look in the windows, never go through the glass. Yeah, Joey and His Tony Jake took my picture right. Bets they call me, the bad luck broad .. born to lose.

PHIL

No! A piece! Even a small piece of the real truth! Hear it. You can stop it! Right here! Right now!

BETS

In my long time I've always lost...
My sweet Mother gone young.
My loving brother in this war.
The girl we almost had, before being born.
Burning joy in our once up a time way back love with your hard passion for my naked boy then .. all lost. The truth is that in my long time, I cannot win a single winning once.
But in a short time .. when the wheel is still spinning fast, one minute before the race ends and they're running neck to neck, pull down the handle on the slots and hear the mechanical music of turning parts read the license plates for the right numbers like tea leaves in the bottom of the cup .. then bet 'em with belief. In that one minute before the ending comes my fingers turn to fists, my toes tighten, I feel! I breathe! I know! I can win! That horse, that wheel! The numbers on the bet don't know my name, is neutral, not against me, isn't bent by my bad star into a losing shape .. Phil .. sing it?

PHIL

That was then. Now is now.

BETS

Sing it like ya did on our first date on the bench in the park. Strangers heard and turned into a crwod. So beautiful ya sang it made me proud to be with you. The last song you sing. For me?

PHIL (sits up in bed, in a clear tenor)
Where are we goin?
(speaking)

...into an icy wind..
 

BETS

Hey! No noise! I got him sleepin'

TERESA (still dancing)

Looka! More in his pockets. Go buy food, I'm hungry!
 

BETS

Joey? Zat you Joey?
 

TERESA

Ma? Ya cookin'? I'm cookin'. What ya cookin'? .. For me? Naw for them like a going away gift. Spaghetti and meatballs, what else? .. 'cause 'ats all I know how. Hey, ma. You know I know Talker's outa the Navy now two weeks. Ain't phoned ya once yet. Means he's not movin' back in, so I get to keep my room, yes? Say yes, ma? Say yes over the phone? Say yes? .. Ho K! I'm packed. Coming now to take it!
 

BETS

When?

TERESA

Now.

BETS

How do we do this? Shake hands like a coupla men?

TERESA

Expect me to say, Aunt Betty I love you? .. I ain't.
Expect me to turn to corn syrup? .. I ain't.
Nobody pours me on their pancakes!
Expect me to throw my arms around you and kiss, kiss .. I ain't.
You keep your germs and I'll keep mine 'cause I'm ..

BETS (interrupting)

Teresa Moran, Sixty-third and Cottage Grove.

TERESA (smiling)

Hard as the nails in ya house.

BETS

Tough as the leathers on the bottoms of your feet. And when ya meet a Moran?

TERESA

Zip ya wallet and cross ya legs!
 

Oh, I do love you Aunt Betty and I am corn syrup!
BETS (smiling)

Hey! Let's do it!

TERESA

Like a coupla men!

That came for you.
BETS

You callin' me Joey? Hey, I'm paid. .. What? .. No, Ididn't notice no pencil marks on the money. .. Yeah, I got a parcel here .. In brown paper .. Timmy? .. Timmy what? .. They're comin'? Get out! .. Joey? .. Joey don't hang up!
 

Tiimmeeeetimmmeeetimmeeetiiimmmeeetiimmeeeeeeeeeeee!
 
PHIL (looking at his hands)

Ahhhhh! Ahhh! Aaaaahhh! Aaahhh! Half and half! This one is God's punishment on me brought down! But this hand which struck my wife and son was my own! By my own hand! Daammmmmeee!
 

TONY

Moneymoneymoneymoney! I got my money back and yours is in my pocket! Jake, the coat said more!
 

JAKE

If it's empty it's gotta be at Joey's!

TONY

You call him, tell him. I pick it up personal! All of it, see? Money! My money! It's my money only. You tell him!

PHIL

My son?

TONY

Garbage? Garbage? Garbage? I get new, clean bills direct. Still I have the girl who irons my shirts, irons my money flat! Virgin money your son put into filthy garbage bags, then dumped into a stinkin' garbage truck which you, you drove somewhere safe away from me!

PHIL

My son?

TONY

In pain answered the hard questions quick, then took us to his banks. We got it all but aaahh! I can still smell the garbage stink on my money!

PHIL

My son?

JAKE

In concrete! Unner the new runway Detroit airport.

(Jake points at the Bible, then the hangman's noose)

Except for one finger. We figure we send her this, she do that.
 

PHIL

I, Philip Moran, with this hand that wipes my ass once a day squeezed your money like it was my hand up between your wife's legs squeezing haard!

I, Philip Moran, watched you since Saint Thomas time fly up high, then higher up fueled on crime slime money! But I

(hand down toward the floor)

brought you down flat, back to earth brok, broken! Tony Accardo, Chickago number one, had to come to me and begged me on your knees, on your kees, Tony! And I turned number one to zero.

(Phil spits into his face)

Beggar! Beggar! Beggar!
 

TONY

You cunning bastid! This .. this was your finger on my trigger! You wanted to die and me to do it! .. And I almost did.

PHIL

Almost.

TONY

Then all of this? Like buried bones for a dog to find? You .. wanted us to discover what you didn't want us to know? .. Even if losing all this was the price you had to pay?

PHIL

I needed one last bullseye, dead, dead center.

JAKE

Bullet him.
 

I don't need any goddam bullets! That's what he wants. But I, Tony Accardo, will choose his death, not him!
 
TONY (circles Phil)

Yeah.. Like in our schoolbook.. Ya gonna be my Robinson Cruesoe all alone here on my Chicago island. And I'm gonna be your Friday man servant. All week ya got no money, medicine, hand to help or voice to talk.
 

But on Friday, Friday comes. Not to keep you alive, but to keep your pain alive,. Machine gun bullets shootin' up ya ass morning', noon and night no sleep, alive! I want to be your hell's best friend! Pictures of your wife and son on top your inside eys that never shut! On Friday when Friday comes, you'll beg for one bullet fast! On your knees. You'll become my beaten beggar with pride cracked.
(Tony spitting in his face)

Beggar! Beggar! Beggar! I, only I, will choose your death! And when you die, it will be just like this!
 

END 

| Robert Lesser | Introduction | Setting | Section One | Section Two | Top of page |

 (c)1997 Robert Lesser, All Rights Reserved.
Get Sponsored 
Internet Link Exchange
Member of the Internet Link Exchange